We all have something to regret in life. No matter how successful you are, you will always have something to worry and stress about. If only I had a bigger house, if only I had a better job, if only I was successful or had a peaceful relationship – it’s never ending. There will always be something to drain you of your positive energy, thereby making it difficult to achieve inner peace.
Only when you are at peace with yourself, can you be at peace with the world outside. Face your problems and put a stop to your inner turmoil. Know that there are certain things in life that are out of your control. Set yourself free from your inner turmoil and make peace with yourself.
When we face what torments us, we put a stop to our inner turmoil. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Come to terms with your feelings of regret and don't beat yourself up over situations you can't control. Be at peace with yourself and set yourself free from the past.
The first step towards attaining inner peace is to realize that everything is out of your control, except your life and the choices you make. To be at peace with yourself, you need to be more contented in your life.
Here are a few tips that will help you to be at peace with yourself to attain inner peace:
- Make attaining peace a deep intention. Commit yourself to truly awaken inner peace. Commit yourself to get over your inner turmoil with yourself, learn how to relax and de-stress.
- Create a list of things you love about yourself and want to change. Make a list of traits you love about yourself and the qualities you would want to cultivate. Although creating such a list could be difficult. For instance: Do you want to see yourself as more tolerant, fairer and calmer? What principles or values do you wish to see in yourself?
- Do the right thing. Are you struggling to act with integrity all the time? Whenever you find it difficult to stick to your principles or find yourself making mistakes, do whatever you feel is right at the moment. Practice doing the right thing all the time so that it becomes easy for you to stick to your principles.
- Identify your core values. Identify the things that are important to you and live your life in accordance with these values – the values that you believe in. By doing this, you are being yourself instead of satisfying someone else’s needs, expectations and demands.
- Don’t compromise yourself. Don’t compromise yourself to be liked. You will be liked by others but you will loath yourself. Don’t work at being popular or being liked, aim at being yourself. It’s much easier.
- Live in the moment. When you refuse to let go of your past and are anxious about your future, it keeps you from enjoying the present moment. It is less overwhelming and overburdening when you just focus on today and bother less about yesterday and tomorrow. Enjoy each moment as it comes.
- Learn to accept people the way they are. Accept the fact that there are many things in your life that will not change no matter what you do. There might be traits that you do not have or are against your nature, reconcile yourself to that. Accept that there are people who, despite your attempts, will not change and will not be the way they ought to be. You do what you can. Learn to accept the way things are. Avoid getting frustrated and irritated and stop being in conflict with yourself.
- Don’t try to be a perfectionist. When you make mistakes, don’t beat yourself up and make yourself feel worse. Validate your efforts and motivate yourself to do better. Allow yourself to be imperfect and make mistakes.
- Embrace your mistakes. Own up your mistakes. By doing so, you allow yourself to take responsibility of your life.
- Learn to smile. Peace comes to you more easily when you smile. Smile helps you to feel better and stops negativity from reaching you. For instance: The next time when you make a mistake, try to smile and laugh at yourself. You will notice that smile will allow the resentment and bitterness to melt away. Don’t hesitate in making fun of yourself.
- Forgive yourself. When you forgive yourself, you move on from the past to present. You find inner peace. If you don’t forgive yourself, self hatred will eat away your self-esteem, self-respect and confidence gradually.
- Forgive others. Try to understand others instead of judging them. Forgive others and free yourself from the inner turmoil. When you are compassionate to others, it raises your self-esteem. When you do not forgive others, the hatred towards them keeps hardening and becomes a burden that stops you from experiencing inner peace. Forgiveness is letting go. It is the road to healing, growth and possibility.
- Make amends as soon as possible. If you happen to hurt someone or fail to act with integrity in any situation, make amends immediately. Don’t wait to correct yourself. By doing this, you will find peace of mind in the fact that you have done your part to correct your actions. This will relieve you of any ill feeling or guilt, and help you to be at peace with yourself.
- Do your part and let go. Know that you cannot control the way others think. Do your part, say things in the best possible manner and leave it. It will be perceived by others the way they want to and you cannot do anything about it. No matter how many different ways you try to do things or send the message, you cannot control the way it would be perceived by others.
- Patience is the key. Don’t let anyone push your buttons. Be patient and take a deep breath before reacting to people. Others may not act or do things the same way you want them to. Respond in a way that won’t give you a chance to regret or that will give you peace of mind.
- Think long term. Before taking any decision or behaving in certain manner, think of your actions in long term. Will you be happy about your behavior later? Will it lead you to regret? If you think your action will become a reason for your worry, don’t do it.
- Validate yourself. When you are going through a difficult phase in life, take out time to reflect on what you did well. If you have been struggling, notice the time when you make progress and feel that sense of peace when you do something well. Each day remind yourself of how you acted well and how you kept your integrity.
- Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend or a co-worker. Be compassionate and kind. Do not berate yourself or beat yourself up for making a mistake. Respond the way you would to a friend, ‘It’s okay. Try another time and I am sure you will do well.’
- Don’t compare yourself to others. The tendency to compare yourself with others is human. No matter how successful or good you are, you can never overcome the habit of comparison. You will always find something or someone else to focus on. And most of the time you compare your worst with the best of others. Know that when you compare yourself with others, you waste your time and energy by focusing on others’ lives rather than on yours. Comparison doesn’t add any value, meaning or fulfillment to your life. Learn how to love and accept yourself.
- Don’t allow others to make you feel small, guilty or insecure. Nobody has the right or permission to make you feel guilty and small. If someone is treating you badly or making you feel bad about yourself, you have given them the permission to do so.
- Meditate. Meditation helps you to be calm and composed. Meditation helps you to be in control of your thoughts and emotions. With regular meditation, you will be able to decrease obsessive thinking. It enables you to keep things in perspective and make accurate judgments. Your anxiety, tension and all other unnecessary emotions make way for positive thoughts. So start meditating to change your life for the better.
- Create a space to sit with your thoughts. Create a safe space for yourself where you can just sit and observe your thoughts, your inner struggles or turmoil every day. Give yourself a place where you can get in touch with your inner thoughts better, without judging them. Be it your car, office, home, a park or a spot in your backyard, any place will do as long as you feel comfortable and secure. If you feel like, just note down your thoughts as they come and pass by. When you express your thoughts, it helps you calm down better.
- Be close to nature. You might have noticed that being close to nature makes you feel peaceful. Nature can inspire you and make you feel connected to your soul.
- Do what you enjoy. When you do what you enjoy, inner peace arises within yourself. Explore life to find out things you enjoy or love doing. Try things out and see how things are when you actually do them. This will help you identify new things.
- Document your thoughts. Write down your thoughts and emotions in a diary daily. Just pour your heart out. Later on, just look at them when you are in good mood. Try to make sense out of your thoughts and emotions. Usually when you are depressed or stressed out, you fail to look at the good things in your life. Create gratitude posts in your journal. Write about things that you are grateful for in life. These gratitude posts will remind you of the good things in your life when you are low and depressed.
- Be there with your peace. Be still with the peace that arises after pondering over your thoughts. Appreciate the peace that comes by when you become courageous and brave enough to acknowledge your inner turmoil. The most important thing is to stay on till the inner peace arises.
- Use this inner peace in your daily life. Once you attain inner peace, carry it with you in your daily life. Be at peace with yourself even in tough situations during hectic demands of the day. When you feel flustered and caught up in your battle, gently remind yourself of the inner peace you experienced.
- Spread your inner peace. Spread your inner peace to people around you. Let it radiate in relationships that you share with others. Let your inner peace reflect in the interactions you have with others. Allow your peace to touch others.
- Look outwards. Take a moment and look outside of your problems. Look at the world at large. Educate yourself, read up things about other people, culture and tradition. This will make you realize that the world does not revolve around your problems and that your problems are not really problems. When you look beyond yourself, you find inner peace.
- Be caring. When you are self- consumed and are only concerned about your problems, it’s difficult to find inner peace. When you genuinely care about others, it helps reinforce your inner peace. Any act of kindness will help you ease your way towards inner peace. When you start helping people, you stop focusing on yourself and realize that life is worth living.
- Never lose hope. Hope leads to peace. When you are shrouded with worry and stress, you forget to be hopeful. When you have hope deep within your heart, you know everything will be alright. You know that although things are terrible at the moment, your problems are temporary and that soon enough things will be back to normal.
- Embrace your beliefs wholeheartedly. Embracing your beliefs and having a solid faith will help you find your inner peace. Your faith will guide you to peace and wisdom. Believing in something wholeheartedly will increase the quality of your life, as when you believe in something, it leads to more inner peace.
- Continue learning. When you accept that you do not know everything and you are open to learning, it leads you to inner peace. When you find joy in learning new things and when you become aware of how you are growing each day, it brings you a step closer to inner peace. Educate yourself by reading books and knowing about other cultures, traditions and religions. Learning will open your mind and bring you closer to inner peace.