Are you always in search of things that can make you happy? Of course, you are! What a silly question! Let’s rephrase that a bit, shall we? Are you unconsciously holding on to things that make you unhappy? That hit the mark, right?
Don’t fret. We are all guilty of holding on to one thing or the other that steals our happiness; knowingly or unknowingly. Happiness is elusive, and all of us are constantly in pursuit of happiness.
Here are some things that you need to let go of if you wish to make your life easier and happier.
- 1. The Past is where it belongs
- 2. Get over your fear
- 3. The higher your expectations, the lower your happiness is
- 4. Stop expecting praise from others
- 5. Comparison is the thief of joy
- 6. You are the company you keep – stay away from negative people
- 7. Overthinking
- 8. Pleasing everyone
- 9. Self-doubt
- 10. Anger/Resentment
- 11. Worrying about future
- 12. Fake/Toxic friends
- 13. Chasing people
- 14. Procrastination
- 15. Excuses
- 16. Insecurity
- 17. Negative Body Image
- 18. The idea of a Perfect Partner
- 19. Perfect Life
- 20. Happiness is a choice – it’s your choice!
1. The Past is where it belongs
This might be the most difficult thing to let go of, right? The past is heavy baggage to carry around; it neither does let you grow, nor let you smile. Whenever you sit alone, the past sneaks up on you. Are not failed romantic relationships a major part of your past? You are constantly wondering what went wrong or how you could have prevented it from happening. But guess what? There is absolutely nothing you can do to change it now. So, why drag yourself through all that pain and mess? Let it go. It’s a new day.
If you want to make room for happiness, then you have got to stop carrying around your past.
2. Get over your fear
Is fear stopping you from taking the next step towards happiness? Is your fear more powerful than your desire for happiness? Face your fear and move out of your comfort zone. Unless and until you take the risk, you won’t know if it was worth it or not. Sometimes it is okay to take the road less traveled. Who knows, maybe some beautiful surprise is waiting for you on the way?! And even if that's not the case, understand you’re not perfect. No one is perfect. You are bound to make mistakes. Eventually, you will learn as you go on.
3. The higher your expectations, the lower your happiness is
Okay, so you have high standards of expectations, you don’t like making mistakes, and you want everything to be just perfect. Do you know what that is? A recipe for disaster, which is bound to make you unhappy! We are not saying that the work you deliver be sloppy or you make careless mistakes. However, setting unrealistic standards is an inevitable way to disappoint yourself.
4. Stop expecting praise from others
Sorry to break it to you, but nobody is going to take time to always shower you with praise, and neither should you expect it. You’re not in kindergarten anymore where you would get a star or a very good on the top of your assignment.
If you expect to inflate your ego with praises from other people, then you are sure to be disappointed. Who has the time? And why would anyone go out of their way always to make you feel happy? You have to do that for yourself. You have to love yourself enough to know that even if you aren’t showered with praise and compliments, your happiness would not be affected.
Note your accomplishments, work on your confidence, and boost your happiness!
5. Comparison is the thief of joy
Comparison and by extension envy is the greatest thief of joy. You know why? Because here you are consciously choosing to make yourself feel inferior and taking a hit on your self-esteem. When you compare yourself with someone else, you are comparing the worst of yourself with the best of others. See where you are going wrong with this?
Others are not a measure of your worth. You have your purpose, gifts, talents, successes, and contributions. You are simply wasting your time if you are thinking about someone else’s life and comparing it with yours.
6. You are the company you keep – stay away from negative people
Do you like being in the proximity of someone with a nasty cold? No, right! Negativity is just like a bad cold; it is highly contagious. If you have ever spent time with someone who is continuously whining and venting about one thing or another, then you already know how awful it feels. They steal your happiness.
We know it is impossible to get rid of negative people, thoughts or situations completely, but you can always try to move out of circles where you know you may come across one such character. Focus your energy on things that make you smile, don’t let anyone burn it down.
Call it what you will- overthinking, obsessing, brooding, wallowing or rumination- we have two words for it- TOXIC HABIT! While almost all of us brood at one time or another, that’s normal. However, when you start constantly rehashing all the conversations, you had yesterday, second-guessing all your decisions, and imagining disastrous outcomes you wreak havoc on your mood. You kill your chances at happiness.
Take a breath and try to calm down. We know it’s not going to be easy, but you could at least try. It’s the least you could do for your happiness!
8. Pleasing everyone
You can’t make everyone happy! You are not Santa Clause! Do you know the cost of trying to please everyone? Your own happiness. Do you want that? Nobody really does if they think about it. That’s not healthy. Besides, it’s never going to work. You CANNOT please everyone. Instead, focus on yourself. Make yourself happy.
Do you know who your biggest enemy is? YOU! Yes, you read it right! You are your own biggest enemy. With all your self-doubts, inferiority complex and lack of self-worth, you are not going to be happy! NEVER let doubts control you. Believe in yourself and have faith. You can’t let yourself down with such thoughts.
Buddha compared holding on to anger to grasping a hot coal. And while you wish to throw it at someone else, do you realize you who is getting burnt while holding it? YOU! Let go of all that anger or resentment you have been building up. You will feel free; you will feel awesome. It’s either going to be happiness or anger. The choice is yours. We hope you make the wise one.
11. Worrying about future
Why worry about something over which you have no control. That’s absolutely pointless! The future is as uncertain as the wind. And you worrying about it is not going to change it or give you an insight to what it holds for you. You would just be wasting a perfectly beautiful today for something you know nothing about. Instead, do something today that ensures you of a better tomorrow. Carpe Diem!
12. Fake/Toxic friends
All of us love to have friends. We love to be surrounded by people who understand us and watch out for us and are there for us. But we are sure you have noticed by now that not all friends are good friends. You have some fake friends, some toxic ones as well. You know you want to get rid of them but can’t make yourself do it. Go ahead and do it. We promise your life will become so much better the moment they walk out of your life. You DON’T need friends who remember you only when they need something.
13. Chasing people
STOP chasing people! If someone wants to be a part of your life, they will make an effort to do so, instead of making you chase them. Don’t stoop yourself down to that level. You will lose yourself if you keep chasing them.
When is your time? NOW! If there’s something that can be done now, then DO IT! Don’t leave it for tomorrow. You will feel a constant load on yourself if you keep putting off things. Be done with them at the earliest possible chance, and you will be free.
“I can’t do this, I wouldn’t know how to go about it, I don’t have time”- stop with such excuses. If you want to work out but do not have the time to go to a gym, then wake up early. Excuses are simply rationalizations that help you feel better about not doing something. If you want results, then you have got to stop whining and get on with it already!
The key to happiness is loving yourself and having high self-esteem. Accept who you are and work at it every day. Show your self-confidence and give off positive vibes. Why do you have to be insecure about anything at all! Do you know who has the ability to create the best version of you? YOU!
17. Negative Body Image
Nobody has the right to judge your body. Only your opinion of yourself is what matters at the end of the day. No one can determine what the correct body type is. You have to learn to be comfortable in your skin. Ignore body shaming. Learn to let go of it. We know it’s not so easy, but it can be done. You are beautiful if you believe yourself to be, don’t let anyone else decide that for you!
18. The idea of a Perfect Partner
What did you say? Are you waiting for the perfect partner? You have a checklist prepared just like Abby from The Ugly Truth! Well newsflash: there is NO such thing as a perfect partner. Chuck that checklist right outside your window. Only then will you end up with someone like Mike from The Ugly Truth.
Your quest for the perfect partner is stopping you from moving forward in life. The right person could be right around the corner, but you won’t be able to see him if you keep looking for the perfect guy whose image you have created in your mind.
19. Perfect Life
We are sad to burst your bubble, but there is no perfect life either. You have to work at making a better life. If you don’t work hard at achieving a better life, then you will end up being miserable. Your choices reflect directly on your life. Only you can create the best possible world for you!
20. Happiness is a choice – it’s your choice!
Yes, contrary to what you believe, happiness is a choice! It does not and should not depend on anyone but you. Only you have the power to create happiness for you. And you know what’s the best part? No one can steal your happiness if you don’t let them. You should decide that no one has the right to do that. There are some circumstances or people that do affect our happiness. But eventually, it all comes down to you – how long are you going to let a circumstance or person stand in your way to happiness! Decide for yourself.